Training Log: Entry 150
Went to a Crapboxing class today. Crapboxing is like kickboxing, except it sucks awful.
This was some McDojo Indonesian martial arts studio that I had mocked previously on campus. I knew I was in for a laugh when I saw it.
"Drills" (I use the word lightly)
Cardio crap at the start. Combination between a Capo ginga and boxing jab-cross-hook-uppercut combos
Ginga+front kick, round kick, side kick (all TKD style)
After "learning" these techniques (by learn I mean mimcing) we tried them out on kicking large bags (ala TKD class).
4 stations. 2 front kick. 1 roundkick. 1 sidekick.
They had one fat man and 3 old ladies holding pads. The fat man tried to bring me down on my sidekick, and I almost killed two of the ladies. One held the pad frontways for a roundkick, and I promptly kicked her shoulder. I apolgoized, and she didn't correct herself. I was told to "be nice" for the second holder. How am I supposed to progress if I kick light?
Some chick behind me was mocking how I hissed when I struck. I confronted her after class. She buckled and gave me a BS excuse.
After pad work, we did some basic calestentics and stretching. They did a hardsell for their club. I did my best not to laugh. Total class length of 45 minutes.
Notes:
Holy Christ this club sucks. If you are in the Portland area, do NOT check out Tulene martial arts
I wanted to spar the instructors, but no go
The on campus MA clubs are way better...and that's a statement
MCDOJO!
I'd like to congratulate myself on my 150th post.
It's a guilty pleasure of mine, hoping you go to more McDojo classes. Always funny to read.
ReplyDeleteGod. In my martial arts club at school people laugh at my hiss noises. I'd like to see them take a solid punch without making a *hiss* noise.
ReplyDeletePeople laugh at hiss noises because they've never fought. They don't realize the importance of keeping your teeth clenched and breathing, which results in that sound. They just think I'm some McDojo snake stylist. I'd like to kick their teeth in so they don't need to worry about keeping them clenched.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your 150th, i should probably keep track of mine since i'm probably approaching, 30? lol i'm a bit more consistent now, but i'm fickle. Anyways, its too bad that you have so much trouble finding a great place to have even a decent spar. Too bad instructors refuse to spar with you, Its the only challenge if any there i suspect though even if they did, i bet a lot of them would require a lot of rules you wouldn't like anyways. btw, i have to show you some samurai Champloo Episodes sometime, i'm thinking you might like a few of them.
ReplyDeleteI've caught that show a few times. It's pretty grovey.Yeah, I'd kill for a sparring partner. I'm thinking I'll join a boxing gym this Christmas, just to shake all my ring rust.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that kickboxing class was pretty lame. I honestly felt like I was doing a version of Tae bo but less intense. It was really disappointing. The girl behind us was pretty stupid, but I'm glad you asked her about it. Maybe she'll think again before she does something, but knowing how immature she was, probably not. Well, thanks for going with me to the Kickboxing even though it was horrible. I can't believe people actually spend money to go to their school. I think our school's kickboxing class is much better. Take care. I love you! ~aloha~
ReplyDeleteIt's articles such as this that make me glad I'm taking MMA and BJJ. Every class we spar for at least 1/2 an hour, full contact. Sorry that you had to waste your time.
ReplyDeleteDude, martial arts so don't work. Let's see you try and block a punch by someone who benches 400.OHHHHHHHHHHH!Psych.
ReplyDelete