Training Log: Entry 2464

PM WORKOUT

Keg sprints, 4 rounds (first 3 rounds wearing 45lb vest)
Run 182lb keg 50’
Run back to start
Run back to keg
Run keg 50’
Run back 50’
Run back to keg
Run keg 50’

Max distance carry 182lbs
160’

Notes: That third round was a "sprint" in name only; was definitely just plodding along.  Only finished 2 laps and was contemplating calling it good, which then made me disgusted with myself and forced me to do the third.  Still focusing on speed even with the vest on. 

I used to log my dreams here while I was recovering, and I had a weird enough one last night that I thought it was worth recording.  Normally, in dreams, whenever I have to fight, it all goes wrong.  My guns always jam, miss or fall apart, I never make contact with the enemy when going unarmed, etc.  Last night, the complete opposite happened; I got into some sort of massive firefight/melee and everything was landing.  I was part of some team, and I was spraying down guys with SMGs, ran out of bullets and started throwing knives, etc.  One guy closed the distance and I grabbed the closest weapon I could, which ended up being a throwing ax.  I grabbed the dude by his helmet and sunk the ax into his neck, but since it was a throwing ax and not a hand ax it didn't really do the job.  I had to slide it down from his neck across his throat, and dude still wouldn't stop.  I ended up grabbing up near the back of his skull and started pulling it clear off his brain, and dude still wouldn't go down.  It was just a horrific, gory mess.  I eventually started screaming at him "Why won't you die?!" before the fight got broken up and I ended up waking up.

It's been rattling around in my head today, and I'm starting to think that it was me fighting ME.  A metaphor for all the crap I keep throwing at myself to try to finally push myself over the limit, only to keep zombie-ing on and through.